Banned from zoo.
Again?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
