I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
