I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
