Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
