I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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