Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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