you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
