I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
