i jhust puked up my retainher.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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