WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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