Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
