Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
