Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were trust falling into bushes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
