I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
