his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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