We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
