he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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