This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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