If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
