So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
