She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
