whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
