Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
