I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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