Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you never un-have a 4some
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
