Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i dont even know how to be here
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
