so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
