please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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