Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize