i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Houston, we have a squirter
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
