Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
