Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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