He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
