I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
