who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
