escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
