I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
420 ftw
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
we're so committed to being not committed
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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