There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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