whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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