Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize