he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
