Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
