Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
