So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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