I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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