I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
