Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He better not be in your backpack
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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