the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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