I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
