Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
