I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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