dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
