So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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