Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
