I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
