I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
