Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
