She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
