Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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