I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
